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Life is full of choices. We make choices every day, sometimes so often, we don’t even realize we’re making a choice. In the mornings, we make the choice to get out of bed early or sleep in, we chose what we want to eat, and who we want to spend the day with. But sometimes the choices we make run deeper than the day to day routine. Sometimes these deeper choices determine who we are going to be. I think we tend to picture life as a race. And in this race, it is easy to want to be ahead. People will do whatever it takes to beat the person behind them. And I think sometimes in the process of focusing so much on winning we forget to remember how we want to finish and who we want to finish with. When that race is over, does getting first place necessarily mean you really won? When you’re standing at the finish line, who’s standing with you, and how are they looking at you?

People like to win. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just important to remember how you win. When that finish line is crossed or the last point is scored, will you feel like you really deserve it or like you cheated your way to the top? When I finish my life race, I want people to remember me as someone who was kind. I want to have a family who loves me and a well lived happy life. I want to focus less on the wordly ideas of first place. Like having tons of money, the perfect body, or an A in every class. There is nothing wrong with these things, I just simply want them to matter less than the important things. Like faith, hope, and love.

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I want to be brave. Brave is one of those things that doesn’t really have a definite definition in my opinion, it’s all really just up to you. Your version of brave. I want to be brave in a lot of ways. I want to stop letting fear hold me back. I want to be brave enough to let go. I want to take risks. I want to do the things that I’ve always wanted to do but kept hidden in the back of my heart. And I want to do them confidently. I want to do the things that don’t come with neat wrapped up bows and happy endings. The things that are just life – with no rule book or guidelines. That’s my brave.

But brave is different for everyone. Your brave could be a literal thing like swimming with sharks because for me that would most definitely be one of my brave moments. Maybe it’s a roller coaster, or sky diving, or applying for a new job, or telling someone you love them, or taking the next step in your relationship, or the next step in your faith. Whatever It is, I believe everybody has an idea of what they want their brave to look like. And I think that’s important. Here’s an embarrassing truth. I’m scared to drive a car. Yep terrified. It’s hard to explain and when I tell someone they look at me like I’ve lost it. But it’s that fear of the unknown that gets me. I like things to be steady and stable and somewhat predictable. But driving, that’s a constant who knows what’s going to happen thing. And for some reason that’s a fear I struggle to get over. So, whenever I get behind the wheel- even if only to back out of the driveway- embarrassing I know – that’s my brave. At least the beginning of it anyway. But to someone else that’s their everyday routine. It just depends on what scares you I guess and how you decide you’re going to let that impact you. I think that’s your brave. Being stronger than what’s holding you back, than the thing telling you – what you can’t do, not letting that define you – that’s brave.
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Dear Mom,

There a lot of things I want to say to you, that I fear I don’t say enough. When I Iook at you, I see everything I want to be. I see someone who loves with her whole heart, and who doesn’t let people push her around. I see my biggest fan and best hug giver. I see the mom I hope to be one day. You are more important to me than I could ever say in words. Your heart is so full of courage and sometimes I think you don’t even know it’s there. Your ability to handle curve balls as they come as effortlessly as you do if astonishing. You are always telling me to just deal with things as they come and to not worry about things that haven’t even happened yet. And that’s what you do. You deal. Whatever happens you help me and the twins handle it, no questions asked, you help us deal.
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I remember the first day of my sophomore year was a mess. My school is kind of set up weird, so the freshman campus is separate from 10th, 11th, and 12th. So, it was my first day at this new big school and my schedule had been switched so many times. I didn’t know where to go or what my new schedule even was and I was on the verge of a breakdown although I was trying my best to keep myself together. I stood in line at one of the offices trying to get my new schedule printed but could not seem to find help. I began walking down one of the hallways after an hour and a missed lunch when a man just pops out from I swear thin air and asks if I need help. I explain to him my situation and he walks into his classroom and prints my schedule just like that. He was kind to me when he didn’t know I needed it. Times like this always remind me why it is important to be kind to everyone you meet.

Being kind has always held high importance to me. I never want to hurt someone and on the times that I mess up and do, I think about it for days. It’s just a part of who I am. So, when I am shown kindness I always appreciate it more than I say. We are all fighting our own battles. Every person has their own struggle or insecurity that sometimes and I find often we know nothing about. But showing kindness, that could change someone’s day in an instant. I’ve been that girl with no one to sit with at lunch. I’ve been that girl who didn’t know where she fit. And I’ve been the girl that’s felt left out. And if I had to guess I think you have in some way been there too. Because disappointment is a part of life. It hurts a lot, but in the end, I find it makes us stronger. Though it is so much easier to get through these disappointments and hurt when we have someone on our side who loves us and shows kindness. And that person, friends is the one who created you. He knows your heart and intentions better than even you.
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