I want to be brave

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I want to be brave. Brave is one of those things that doesn’t really have a definite definition in my opinion, it’s all really just up to you. Your version of brave. I want to be brave in a lot of ways. I want to stop letting fear hold me back. I want to be brave enough to let go. I want to take risks. I want to do the things that I’ve always wanted to do but kept hidden in the back of my heart. And I want to do them confidently. I want to do the things that don’t come with neat wrapped up bows and happy endings. The things that are just life – with no rule book or guidelines. That’s my brave.

But brave is different for everyone. Your brave could be a literal thing like swimming with sharks because for me that would most definitely be one of my brave moments. Maybe it’s a roller coaster, or sky diving, or applying for a new job, or telling someone you love them, or taking the next step in your relationship, or the next step in your faith. Whatever It is, I believe everybody has an idea of what they want their brave to look like. And I think that’s important. Here’s an embarrassing truth. I’m scared to drive a car. Yep terrified. It’s hard to explain and when I tell someone they look at me like I’ve lost it. But it’s that fear of the unknown that gets me. I like things to be steady and stable and somewhat predictable. But driving, that’s a constant who knows what’s going to happen thing. And for some reason that’s a fear I struggle to get over. So, whenever I get behind the wheel- even if only to back out of the driveway- embarrassing I know – that’s my brave. At least the beginning of it anyway. But to someone else that’s their everyday routine. It just depends on what scares you I guess and how you decide you’re going to let that impact you. I think that’s your brave. Being stronger than what’s holding you back, than the thing telling you – what you can’t do, not letting that define you – that’s brave.

I read a quote once that goes “you cannot always be strong but you can always be brave”. Truth. Sometimes life hits us full speed ahead and quite honestly it never happens at convenient times. Always when we’ve gotten to a point where we can stand on our own. But then here comes life ready with a new punch. And sometimes we stand back up fast, brush off the dirt and keep going. But other times we get the wind knocked out of us and it’s hard to breathe. Sometimes it takes your strength. But it can’t take your brave. Because that’s yours. And how you use it- that’s up to you.

Here’s another thing about me that I’ve kept hidden for a while. I have anxiety. It’s not the biggest deal and certainly less than I built it up in my head to be. But it’s a thing I deal with and struggle with every day. It makes it hard to be brave. But that’s the best part of brave in a way. Being afraid and doing it anyway. Being brave even when everything tells us we can’t. You are stronger than the things you fear or the things that hold you back. And you are braver than them. You were made by a God so brave that he sent his only son to die for you. No second thoughts, or regrets, just a whole lot of love and brave. Bravery is something that’s all yours. No one can take it from you. It’s your choice how brave you want to be. And I think I like that about it. It’s something that’s mine. Pure and strong and honest and good. But this is not to say you won’t have days or weeks or months where brave feels so far away. This is a journey and sometimes a long one. Be patient with yourself but also courageous enough to take the leap into the unknown waters of your bravery.

So, friends I pray for you and for your brave. I pray you want to be brave too. I pray you find the things that shake you up and you stop letting them control you – one step at a time. It’s a process friends – one that I’m still working on and growing in every day. But it’s something I want for myself. I want that courage and I want that brave. And I think friends, that if we want it and if we believe in it with all our hearts, we stop wanting and we start being. Before we even know it, we’re brave.

All the love, Annie