Lessons in Forgiveness

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Forgiving people is usually hard. Plain and simple it just is. Trusting people and then having that trust broken is the kind of pain that you feel throughout you whole body. You feel betrayed and mostly just hurt. I’m the kind of person that can have a hard time letting people in. It’s not on purpose and most times I don’t even recognize I’m doing it. It’s just natural for me. Because I’m also the kind of person who cares deeply about people, especially about people I’m close to. And sometimes, people that I’m close to can hurt me. Just like people that you’re close to can hurt you. It’s a part of life. No one’s perfect and we all mess up. Though I find, quite honestly, I have a hard time forgiving sometimes. Even if I’m saying I forgive on the outside, usually I’m still holding on to some feelings of hurt.

One thing I’ve always particularly hated is being lied to. Especially if it’s by someone you trust. And when that trust is broken, I really have a hard time truly forgiving. But I am always amazed at how quick I am to forget about the one who constantly forgives me. Life is full of pain. Every day we all mess up and do things that looking back on, we wish we wouldn’t have done. We’re not perfect and we’re full of sin. But despite all of that sad news, we serve a God so full of love that he sent his only son to die on the cross for us, to forgive us of our sins. The sins of the world. And looking at it that way, it truly helps me to grasp the immense love our God has for us. He loves us and forgives us, sin and all.

The more I read about what God has said about forgiveness, the more I realize how important it is for us to forgive each other. Y’all it is so easy to hold on to bitter feelings. Often, they just stick, and we aren’t always aware we still harbor this hurt. Until we’re having a conversation and the other person or places name is brought up and we immediately feel this annoyance or pain. And to me, that’s how I know, I haven’t truly forgiven someone. Let’s all be honest, holding on to that hurt, does more harm than good. It makes us bitter and angry. Because truth, we can’t heal, until we forgive, wholeheartedly. A verse I’ve kept with me about forgiveness is Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” That last part really hits me. We have been given this beautiful gift of forgiveness, and who are we to decide we shouldn’t give it to others.

I’m not saying you have to forgive and forget. Forgiveness doesn’t mean everything’s better and all is forgotten. It simply means letting go of the hurt and bitter feelings. It’s freeing really, to truly forgive. It’s like a weight being lifted off of you, that you didn’t always know was there. You simply stop carrying around baggage, that’s not needed. It makes room to carry the good things, like love and joy.

Here’s the truth. We all mess up. We’ve all done things that we hope people will forgive us for. But at the end of the day, the only forgiveness, that truly matters is the one from God. It can be scary to ask for his forgiveness sometimes. We can feel beyond redemption and hurt. But no matter how you feel, God loves you and he wants to forgive you. He doesn’t carry around the bitter feeling like we can. He simply forgives because that’s what he does. He is ever forgiving and an all loving God.

I challenge myself and any one reading this who sometimes finds themselves struggling to forgive, to let go of the past feelings of pain. You shouldn’t forget them, but you should let them go. Have you ever held on to something so tight your hand aches and your knuckles turn white? It’s not comfortable and is usually the only thing you can focus on. That’s how I picture holding on to hurt. But when we let go of that thing we’re holding and simply forgive; the hurt isn’t as strong or distracting. It’s freeing and you can move on without anything holding you down.

Jesus didn’t forgive us just because. He did it for a reason. And he has a reason for wanting us to forgive others too. He wants us to be free from that hurt, so that we can live better. It is not always easy friends. Often, I have to really talk myself into letting go of holding on so tightly and forgiving. But when I do, it always feels so good. Less pain to carry, and more joy. So the next time you find yourself holding on tightly to hurt from something, I challenge you to take a deep breathe, count to 3, let go, and simply forgive. I’m willing to bet you’ll like what you see.

All the Love, Annie